do so many Hollywood stars turn into Marx-huggers when it comes to
believe it's embedded in their DNA. Entertainers are professional
emoters. People who emote for a living tend to see the whole world
through their emotions. Cry for the camera; cry for "social
justice." Moan for the microphone; moan for "equality of
outcome." Mug for an audience; mug for "welfare rights."
contend that they all live in Airheadsville.
get to the bottom of this mysterious phenomenon, ace scoop snooper
Poppy Rhattzi of the Hollywood Star Snitcher tabloid was
assigned to go undercover and follow, spy on, photograph, and
relentlessly stalk Movieland's newest starlet, Castine Couche. Here
is her report.
All right! Wow! Ha ha. What a
great-looking audience. My name is Hill
Larrius, and it's great to be here in Vegas! Whoo!
Hey, what's up with these crazy
presidential candidates? We have this McCain guy for the Republicans,
right? Now, I'm not gonna say he's old, 'cause he really didn't fight
in the Civil War, right? Hell no! He was already way too old for that
war, see? Ha ha ha.
Then over here we have this Democrat,
Obama, who keeps promising change. So if we elect him president,
we'll have change, right? Like he'll raise our taxes and all we'll
have left in our pockets is change. Ha ha ha! Ooooh. Hey, don't get
mad at me, I'm just the messenger here.
once was a proper young English miss named Alice Pleasance. She,
according to Lewis Carroll biographers, was the real-life inspiration
for a fictional Alice who tumbled down a rabbit hole and commenced a
tour of a riotous realm called Wonderland.
her wanderings, she encountered an egg named Humpty Dumpty and came
away with a memorable sound bite.
Mr. Dumpty, "When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to
mean - neither more nor less."
YORK (CNNMoney.com), July 24, 2008 - The national minimum wage went
up 70 cents on Thursday as the second of three planned increases
mandated by Congress took effect. The national minimum wage will
increase to $6.55 per hour as part of the Fair Minimum Wage Act of
imagine that the old metaphor "climbing the ladder of success"
isn't metaphorical but literal.
to rewrite gun laws after the U.S. Supreme Court affirmed the right
of individuals to bear arms (DC
v. Heller), the District of
Columbia Council voted to end the most restrictive anti-gun laws in
the nation and replace them with new restrictions.
an old 1950s era black-and-white zombie movie. The undead rise from
their graves, begin lurching forward, arms outstretched, eyes vacant,
all murmuring eerily in unison, "Change, change, change ... ."
Obama's zombies don't rise from graves. They emerge from high
schools and colleges and Hollywood soundstages and media centers.
continually point out that the one thing mainstream politicians
everywhere never seem to learn, no matter how many do-overs they get,
is this: All actions have consequences; ill-conceived actions have
is because the politician's response to every issue is the same:
Governmental coercion solves all problems.
Admit it. You know you've done it.
You're loafing in your Laz-Z-Butt lounger in your living room, or
compressed between passengers in the middle seat on the Crack o' Dawn
flight to East Piddlyborough, or sneaking an on-the-job mini-vacation
in the stinky-stall of your workplace pottyroom, when your eyes land
on a line of type in the local Balderdash Bulletin you've been
drowsily browsing through.
Some subnormal moron did something
stunningly stupid today, or said something incredibly enlightened, or
offered an ignorant opinion, and it was all prominently preserved in
You want to yell at the newspaper. Show
it to someone. Vehemently voice your concurrence or your
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